


Trouble on the High Seas

by botgal



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/M, FLARP, Providing medical care to your kismesis, Sea Pollution, fantroll death, pirate flarping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 09:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14234124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botgal/pseuds/botgal
Summary: Eridan and Vriska are out FLARPing and things take a turn for the bad. Leaving Vriska to patch up her ailing kismesis.





	Trouble on the High Seas

Whoever said the smells of blood, canon smoke, and salt in the air was a disgusting combination clearly had never smelled it while victory was in their grasp.

Deformed spurs of wood and pieces of floating wreckage with non sea dweller Trolls desperately clinging to them weren't half bad a sight either.

“I can't believe these fucking schmucks thought that they could even stand a _chance_ against us,” she snorted to her companion beside her. She glanced out of the corner of her eye, seeing her violet clad kismesis sneering down his nose at the final ship that remained floating. “I've seen a three legged barkbeast with better sea legs than most of these chumps.”

“Honestly. They didn't _deserve_ the combined firepower of Dualscar and Mindfang,” he sniffed. “Hardly even a challenge.” He held up his rifle, still cracking ominously and smelling of burnt ozone. “Think it's about time to put an end to this farce of a fight, Vris? Could just blow a hole right through the hull and be done with it.” Vriska smirked at him, a vicious glint in her eye.

“No. That'd be too boring after all this effort. Maybe we could... rough them up with that. Say we do a pincer attack?” They gazed at each other for mere seconds, before one corner of his mouth curled up in what might be allowed to be called a smirk right back at her.

“I think I could have some fun with that.” Without a further word, they prepared their final blow against the other captain. Eridan threw off his FLARP costume's coat and snuck around the side of the ship, diving into the water with Ahab's Crosshairs in hand. While she knew he was swimming forward under the ship, Vriska brought her ship closer to the other one in the water.

Already an Indigo girl stood at the prow of the ship, teeth bared and eyes filled with fury barely shadowed by the broad brim of her captain's hat..

“Nice night for a swim, isn't it?” Vriska called across mockingly. “Or at least your loser crew seems to think so! But don't worry, I'll haul them up all nice and dry and up in chains once I've sunk your sorry wreck to the bottom of the ocean~”

“You think you're _so_ clever, don't you, Serket?!” the Indigo snapped. “Taking us all out from afar while you just sit back on your ass like the coward you are?!”

“I do, as a matter of fact,” Vriska smirked right on back. “It's really sort of hilarious, seeing all of you scramble around like the rats you are while we picked off your vessels one by one.”

“Is that so?” the other girl ground out. “And just who is this 'we' of yours right now? From where I'm standing, all I see is an uppity little Cerulean standing alone in the crate she calls a ship! And I know not even _you're_ presumptuous enough to be using the royal 'we'. So I have to wonder just where that kismesis of yours has run off to. I've wanted to pay him back for blowing a hole through my favorite battleships!”

“Not here,” Vriska replied flippantly. “Though you'll be seeing him again sooner than you think.” She kept her triumphant, condescending expression on her face. Only to become confused when the Indigo captain started to grin right back at her.

“That's what I was hoping you'd say, Serket.” She snapped her head to the side, barking orders at her first mate. “Tell all hands to release the load! Let the sea turn black!”

“What in the hell are you-?!” Her question was answered far more quickly in actions than in words. Several Trolls around the ship ducked out of various windows, upending the large barrels they were holding. Before her eyes, the sea around the ship was slick with a hearty layer of oil on top of it. Before she even had time to curse, Vriska saw a familiar violet head breach the surface, only for the owner of said head to begin gagging and retching violently as his mouth and gills became stained with the dark substance.

The Indigo cackled, the malevolent upturn of her lips barely anything resembling a smile anymore.

“You think we'd come out here without being prepared? We knew about your strategies, Serket. You and that stupid kismesis of yours. And now, you're going to pay for thinking you ever could have beaten us. But first...” She held out her hand, into which a box of matches appeared. She struck one against the side of the box, pacing near the edge and glaring down into the water. “Let's see how you like it when I turn your partner down there into a grade A fish fry-” A hard, heavy red boot to her face cut her off completely, sending her head over heels to the deck of her ship. The match suputtering out on the damp wood. “You fucking bitch! I'm going to tear you limb from limb when I-!”

The clatter of dice was covered up by her cursing, but the sound of the ship being crushed round the middle by the giant snake that had appeared covered up her cursing. Titanic Jormungandr. A fitting end to this battle.

“No, I think you won't,” Vriska glared down at her. “You know, I was going to feed you to my lusus first. But you know what?” She slammed her boot onto her chest, right before she dropped her dice to the deck again. “I think not even she would be able to stomach you.” The last die spun on its edge before finally settling for the last number. The combination giving Anchors Away. As per the attack, a chain wrapped around her chest, with a large anchor hanging over the ship. She gasped and strained against the metal pulling tight around her, and all Vriska did was chuckle blandly. “Have fun saying hello to your battleships, bitch.” She lifted her foot, and in a mere matter of seconds the girl's screams were lost in a splash, a rush of bubbles, then silence.

–

“If you spit up anything on me, I'm going to drop your ass,” Vriska warned as she dragged Eridan along with one arm over her shoulders. He coughed and gagged a bit, feeling the gunk of oil slowly dribbling from his gills, but thankfully kept from doing as she warned him against. He hobbled along with her help off of the ship, with a parade of the enemy crew in chains behind them.

Vriska glanced up at her spider lusus with a tired expression as the giant white creature loomed over them. Giving her head a quick shake and motioning back to the chained Trolls. This one wasn't for eating. She ignored the terrified shrieks of the other Trolls as she helped Eridan into her hive, huffing as she led him up the stairs.

By the time she got him to her respit block, he was looking fairly pale and tired, his coughing more distinct. Vriska nearly dragged him into her ablutions block and dropped him on the floor as she went for the trap.

“Get your shirt off, if you can,” she said over her shoulder as she ran the water. She didn't really know what else to do, so she grabbed some soap from near the tap and squeezed it into the water. It didn't bubble up a lot, but she didn't care for that. When she finally looked back to her kismesis, he was leaning against the counter, shirtless and looking for all the world like he was just trying not to pass out. “Wake up, Ampora. I'm not going to have dragged you all the way back to my hive just for your sorry ass to kick it now.” She grabbed him beneath the arms and tried to move him closer to the tub, but before she could, he gagged and squirmed in her grasp, moving for the load gaper.

Grimacing with disgust, she let him go, allowing him to kneel next to it just in time. He gagged and retched over the bowl, emptying his stomach of both food and traces of the dark gunk of oil. Vriska sat back, waiting for him to finish. Only giving him a couple hard hits on the back when he seemed to be struggling to cough up something.

“S-sorry 'bout that,” he managed at last as he sat back and wiped his mouth. “... God my mouth tastes foul.”

“And you look even worse,” she assured him, “now get in the ablutions trap.” With some help, they managed it, and Eridan sank back into the water up to his shoulders. Though he wasn't allowed to relax. Vriska grbbed him by the shoulders and shoved his head under, much to his shock. She just held him down despite his struggling. When she finally let him back up, he was spluttering and coughing again, but his voice sounded a bit clearer.

“And just what in the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?!”

“Getting you clean. Gotta get that shit out of your gills one way or another. Now take deep breaths. We'll worry about the soap later.” She shoved him under again holding him down for a good minute or so until she believed he should have taken in enough of the water into his system. Then let him sit again. He glared at her through the hair plastered over his forehead.

“You're the worst.”

“I know,” she replied. “And I'm going to make sure you're alive to remember that.” She let that hang in the air, just a moment long enough to let it sink in, before she took hold of him again with a grin and shoved him back under. “Round three!”

 


End file.
